Of course I am. But what was I supposed to do? Run?
[ run, and for what? self-preservation, at the cost of... what? ]
If I want answers, I'm going to have to put myself at risk at some point. And just because they can't trace or track me doesn't mean I can't physically be affected in combat.
[ do or die—that's true, particularly in a place like this. there's nothing he can say to that, so he falls silent, watching her build the snowman instead. he can't help feeling worried about tomorrow, but seeing her like this eases his nerves just a bit for now. ]
[ she's quiet for a moment, giving him a long, measured look. ]
Speaking as an individual, it isn't as if I can really judge anyone here. I'm just one doll, after all.
[ and dolls are meant to serve. they might be allowed to advise, they might be allowed to offer input, but it's not their place to really have opinions about things.
or at least, not their place to openly voice them in any meaningful way, anyway. not for most of them. ]
But are you asking 45, the doll you all keep insisting to be kinder than many believe, or are you asking UMP45, leader of squad 404?
[ does he really want her professional judgment on this. ]
[ there's something measured about that look and those words, but he doesn't shrink back. he did say that he trusts her at the beginning. ]
I'm asking you.
[ both, one or the other; 45 or UMP45, she's still her. she can answer however she wants. he already knows that if it's a professional judgment, it probably won't sound too good for him. ]
If you're asking me as a commander in the field, judging all of us as... not necessarily allies, but would-be collaborators working towards the same goal?
The group we have here isn't a group I would ever have chosen to put together. But even that theoretical scenario would be better than what our reality is.
[ the whim of pandora murdergame slapping people together, period, without even the mission objective stated upfront to gather them that way. ]
This isn't an evaluation based on individuals, of course, but as a whole, as a group comprised of everyone here... I wouldn't rate us favorably.
[ that wasn't exactly what he asked of her, and that she would default to her commander persona says a lot.
he appreciates the candid answer. this is a ragtag bunch at best. they're just fortunate to have previous experience and some leaderlike types among them. ]
[ people don't ask for 45, the person. in fact, most people aren't really aware she exists? so of course her default is ump45, leader of 404. after all, that's the face people do business with.
and like she's implied to someone else, in a mansion dimensions away, what do the personal opinions of a single doll matter anyway? ]
Coordination and actual cooperation, which is easier said than done, I'm aware. Funny enough, Akira had the right idea back when he pulled all of us together that first week. I won't say that we should make friends with everyone here, but... What we've mostly done so far is coexist, maybe.
[ everyone is more or less passably friendly with each other regardless of the game they came from, maybe, but when it comes down to it they're all still mostly just existing in each others' presences, with varying amounts of wariness of those around them depending on who it is. how closely knit some people are is a double edged sword in a place like this, because, well... ]
If we keep treating things in terms of us and them, and drawing lines in the sand that's how we'll divide ourselves when eventually those preexisting ties get stressed. In which case, we'll be too busy defending ourselves and those we call our own to bother putting those loyalties aside for a moment to look at the bigger picture.
[ pause. ]
I don't necessarily ask objectivity from everyone here, but I would ask that when things inevitably come to a head, people put aside their feelings and desires for short-term self-satisfaction for the sake of accomplishing what they claim they're working for. Whether it's defending their friends from justly deserved accusations or blindly chasing after those who killed without questioning why or making sure they have the right person, that sort of thing is going to get us all killed in the end.
that sort of thing has been killing people. he looks down at the floor, glimpsing his hands while they hang at his sides. as clean as they appear, there's blood on them. ]
I think . . . everyone knows we shouldn't be doing those things, but . . .
[ sometimes they can't help themselves. knowing is different from doing. emotions are difficult like that. he himself was clouded more than usual by his heightened feelings last week, and he can't say that he's proud of the things he did now. ]
Knowing isn't good enough. [ in some ways, it's worse that people are aware. ] Ignorance can be alleviated. Willful disregard or denial, on the other hand.
[ sticking their heads into the sand and hoping a solution presents itself from other parties. ]
Ah, but then again. I am just a doll, after all, and I've been just as complicit as anyone else here.
Perhaps I simply can't grasp the intricacies and depths of human feeling. And what a pity that is.
You wouldn't want to be like a Doll, Zenitsu. Trust me on that.
[
'Cyber network T-Doll, eh? Ironic, isn't it? I do hope she'll survive a bit longer.
You'd still wanna have her die for you if it ever came to that. After all, T-Dolls exist to protect humanity.'
'As T-Dolls, is it our duty to serve humanity?
Is that... the only reason for our existence?' ]
You shouldn't want to be like me, either. I'm cold; I'm cruel; I'm callous; I'm selfish- I've heard it all. And I'll most certainly prioritize the mission in the end, regardless of who else might suffer for it.
[ she arches her own brow in return, but before she can respond, a doll's voice cuts in, audible to them both, sharp and bitter and matter of fact: "We're talking about UMP45, whose personality contains less than 5% kindness. Do you honestly expect her to go 'Let's abandon the mission for the sake of everyone's safety' or something like that?" ... I told you, you can't believe a word she says."
"Are you finally getting rid of us?"
"Have you lost your mind?! You can't be the real one! 45 would never do something like this for us--" ]
A squad shrouded in mystery. ▓▓▓▓▒ has met them once, and others can only guess at the members' identities from rumors. Members of the squad all have advanced AI and high capacity for independent operation. Rumor has it that Squad 404 usually deals with ░▓▒▓▓▓▒▓▓▒▒▒░░
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2020-07-25 03:14 pm (UTC)[ run, and for what? self-preservation, at the cost of... what? ]
If I want answers, I'm going to have to put myself at risk at some point. And just because they can't trace or track me doesn't mean I can't physically be affected in combat.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-26 04:48 pm (UTC)You're . . . unbelievably brave.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-28 09:15 pm (UTC)[ impressive even by doll standards. at least, it takes a higher performance body than the average to manage that. ]
Haha. If humans really had managed to figure out how to push their bodies to such limits, you'd almost think we might be unnecessary.
[ but only almost, because there are so many reasons for dolls to exist. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-28 09:32 pm (UTC)I just won't accept the idea of giving up. Or I can't, rather.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 05:41 am (UTC)[ he lowers his hand. ]
I wonder if that's true. Even with these enhancements, there's still a lot that we can't do on our own . . .
[ 45 can never be unnecessary, whether as a weapon or otherwise, in his eyes. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-30 05:42 am (UTC)I hope you find it—the answer.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-31 04:03 pm (UTC)[ take it from a doll who's very, very aware of her own limits. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-31 04:06 pm (UTC)I'll do it or die trying, at least.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-01 05:09 am (UTC)[ she seemed to be alone in the memory. but if she's saying that, it can't be just reina. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-01 05:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-01 08:48 am (UTC)[ do as she says, not as she does. though the tense is deliberate. ]
It's just me. The dolls around me for now ... we're just together because we're headed toward the same destination, that's all.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-01 05:41 pm (UTC)[ that's better than being totally alone, right? ]
Then it's similar to this place.
[ now, that sounds pretty bad. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-02 05:14 am (UTC)[ this is... hm.
it's a ticking time bomb is what it is. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-03 04:40 am (UTC)What about here?
[ does she consider this circle better or worse? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-07 07:55 am (UTC)Speaking as an individual, it isn't as if I can really judge anyone here. I'm just one doll, after all.
[ and dolls are meant to serve. they might be allowed to advise, they might be allowed to offer input, but it's not their place to really have opinions about things.
or at least, not their place to openly voice them in any meaningful way, anyway. not for most of them. ]
But are you asking 45, the doll you all keep insisting to be kinder than many believe, or are you asking UMP45, leader of squad 404?
[ does he really want her professional judgment on this. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 03:54 am (UTC)I'm asking you.
[ both, one or the other; 45 or UMP45, she's still her. she can answer however she wants. he already knows that if it's a professional judgment, it probably won't sound too good for him. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 05:07 am (UTC)The group we have here isn't a group I would ever have chosen to put together. But even that theoretical scenario would be better than what our reality is.
[ the whim of
pandoramurdergame slapping people together, period, without even the mission objective stated upfront to gather them that way. ]This isn't an evaluation based on individuals, of course, but as a whole, as a group comprised of everyone here... I wouldn't rate us favorably.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 05:16 am (UTC)he appreciates the candid answer. this is a ragtag bunch at best. they're just fortunate to have previous experience and some leaderlike types among them. ]
What can we do to improve that rating?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 08:05 am (UTC)and like she's implied to someone else, in a mansion dimensions away, what do the personal opinions of a single doll matter anyway? ]
Coordination and actual cooperation, which is easier said than done, I'm aware. Funny enough, Akira had the right idea back when he pulled all of us together that first week. I won't say that we should make friends with everyone here, but... What we've mostly done so far is coexist, maybe.
[ everyone is more or less passably friendly with each other regardless of the game they came from, maybe, but when it comes down to it they're all still mostly just existing in each others' presences, with varying amounts of wariness of those around them depending on who it is. how closely knit some people are is a double edged sword in a place like this, because, well... ]
If we keep treating things in terms of us and them, and drawing lines in the sand that's how we'll divide ourselves when eventually those preexisting ties get stressed. In which case, we'll be too busy defending ourselves and those we call our own to bother putting those loyalties aside for a moment to look at the bigger picture.
[ pause. ]
I don't necessarily ask objectivity from everyone here, but I would ask that when things inevitably come to a head, people put aside their feelings and desires for short-term self-satisfaction for the sake of accomplishing what they claim they're working for. Whether it's defending their friends from justly deserved accusations or blindly chasing after those who killed without questioning why or making sure they have the right person, that sort of thing is going to get us all killed in the end.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-16 06:23 am (UTC)that sort of thing has been killing people. he looks down at the floor, glimpsing his hands while they hang at his sides. as clean as they appear, there's blood on them. ]
I think . . . everyone knows we shouldn't be doing those things, but . . .
[ sometimes they can't help themselves. knowing is different from doing. emotions are difficult like that. he himself was clouded more than usual by his heightened feelings last week, and he can't say that he's proud of the things he did now. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-16 06:42 am (UTC)[ sticking their heads into the sand and hoping a solution presents itself from other parties. ]
Ah, but then again. I am just a doll, after all, and I've been just as complicit as anyone else here.
Perhaps I simply can't grasp the intricacies and depths of human feeling. And what a pity that is.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 04:50 am (UTC)It would be nice to be more like you. You're able to get your act together when it counts, no matter what you're feeling.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 05:36 am (UTC)You wouldn't want to be like a Doll, Zenitsu. Trust me on that.
[
You'd still wanna have her die for you if it ever came to that. After all, T-Dolls exist to protect humanity.'
Is that... the only reason for our existence?' ]
You shouldn't want to be like me, either. I'm cold; I'm cruel; I'm callous; I'm selfish- I've heard it all. And I'll most certainly prioritize the mission in the end, regardless of who else might suffer for it.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 04:12 am (UTC)but he does arch an eyebrow at her rapid-fire claims. ]
No way. I haven't seen you on a mission from your world, but you're not any of those things!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 05:45 am (UTC)"Are you finally getting rid of us?"
"Have you lost your mind?! You can't be the real one! 45 would never do something like this for us--" ]
... Well. I was going to say something, but.