MINGLE OVERFLOW CATCHALL;

[recrypt]

[ pictured: me trying to juggle all these threads. i'm crying i thought i wouldn't have to do this anymore after subd and thots
no pressure to continue or anything, just lmk if we have to handwave anything specific ]

Comments

[recrypt]

[ there's a slightly wry quirk in her smile as she responds: ]

General infantry support, electronic support specialization. Not that it did much good in the place we were previously, considering the dearth of technology there.

[ ~roomba talk~ ]

[machinetranslation]

Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I was on that remote island for two whole weeks without so much as a single power supply. Imagine! My batteries are running critically low and I haven't had an oil bath in who knows how long.

[oh man he's in full complain mode now that he doesn't have to be polite around humans and put them at ease]

In any case, I must admit that given your appearance I'd thought you served in a social role among humans, not combat support. Is there some purpose to the reproduction of a convincingly human form? It doesn't seem overly convenient for battle.

[recrypt]

[ complainbot... ]

The mansion wasn't quite as bad as that, but just imagine: mysterious antique radio broadcasts, like clockwork each week, that no matter what you do you can't detect the source or signal of despite it being something you should be able to do easily.

[ magic sucks, text it. ]

Anyway. I came from a dual track, general purpose base model that could have gone into both civilian and military purposes. My appearance and the existence of my overall social, communications, and emotional protocols are holdovers from that.

Besides, some of us even while functioning as combat support still need to liase with humans, after all, or go into the greater human population for logistics reasons. The military models certainly aren't going to do it. They look even less human than you.

[machinetranslation]

I see. So your construction allows for integration into either civilian or military spheres at will. You must be quite advanced, UMP-45! I dare say I'm somewhat jealous.

[The talk of a signal seems to pique Threepio's interest]

Odd that you should mention it, but on the island there were similarly untraceable broadcasts...Try as I might, my sensors were unable to pinpoint a source. What's more, at the moment all of my non-visible light range sensors seem to be malfunctioning. I had assumed it was the result of water damage or my waning battery reserves. Have you had any loss of function, UMP-45?

[recrypt]

Don't be. Dolls specialized for either of them individually perform better in their respective spheres.

[ you can only load up so much on a limited storage space, rip. ]

I kept pinging for any networks or communications on the bus, but there was nothing to be found even though there should be at least a bit of minor noise from the wireless console controllers. It was the same within the mansion, though my self-diagnostics returned no problems there.

Likewise, any other extraneous sort of functions, I suppose, have been disabled. It seems a common affliction, considering that some of the humans present have also claimed to be hampered in their abilities.

[machinetranslation]

You seem to have much more sophisticated sensors than me, which I suppose isn't surprising given your intended functions. I'm merely built for communications and diplomacy. I was certainly never meant for all this [he waves a hand dismissively] excitement.

It is strange to hear that the humans also experienced some form of interference, though. I'm not sure what manner of device could cause that.

[his eyes flicker for a moment as he's processing]

The thought had occurred to me that we are part of some type of controlled simulation. To what end, I couldn't say.

[recrypt]

I broached that theory once to one of the humans that I was with previously. They're not here with us now, but their first reaction was asking whether they should try to kill themselves to snap out of it.

I responded that a stunt like that would be as likely to induce brain death as it would actually wake them up, nevermind that if it wasn't actually a simulation in the end then it'd be a very bad idea for obvious reasons.

[ sometimes, babysitting humans is tiring. ]

That said, I couldn't say what it is that might be affecting them either.

[ so many of their powers are magic or magic adjacent that she's just ???? fine. whatever. ]

[machinetranslation]

Oh my yes, you certainly wouldn't want to suggest any scenarios which might cause undue stress for the humans. They're quite prone to emotional changes, particularly in unfamiliar environments.

Rather, my advice was simply not to participate wherever possible if one was uncomfortable. Or to try and determine what the person or program's intended objective was.

[recrypt]

Hmm.

[ filler noises of deliberation like that aren't strictly necessary for them, outside of verisimilitude in imitating human speech, but it does seem as if she is thinking something over during the process of vocalizing the sound. ]

I suppose this is why your specialization is in communications and diplomacy, then. I'll leave the handling of their emotional states to you; does this sound like a good arrangement, C-3PO? I've been told that the tendencies of my programming can sometimes lean more towards the logical side of things rather than the emotional one.

[machinetranslation]

[Some habits just stick; even Threepio is far chattier than he needs to be for pure information exchange.]

That seems like a perfectly suitable arrangement. Of course, the emotions of organic beings are hardly logically predictable, but I do have a built up database regarding such things.

Likewise, perhaps I could rely on you should the situation here devolve towards a more hostile direction?

[Roomba Uprising]