[ there's something measured about that look and those words, but he doesn't shrink back. he did say that he trusts her at the beginning. ]
I'm asking you.
[ both, one or the other; 45 or UMP45, she's still her. she can answer however she wants. he already knows that if it's a professional judgment, it probably won't sound too good for him. ]
If you're asking me as a commander in the field, judging all of us as... not necessarily allies, but would-be collaborators working towards the same goal?
The group we have here isn't a group I would ever have chosen to put together. But even that theoretical scenario would be better than what our reality is.
[ the whim of pandora murdergame slapping people together, period, without even the mission objective stated upfront to gather them that way. ]
This isn't an evaluation based on individuals, of course, but as a whole, as a group comprised of everyone here... I wouldn't rate us favorably.
[ that wasn't exactly what he asked of her, and that she would default to her commander persona says a lot.
he appreciates the candid answer. this is a ragtag bunch at best. they're just fortunate to have previous experience and some leaderlike types among them. ]
[ people don't ask for 45, the person. in fact, most people aren't really aware she exists? so of course her default is ump45, leader of 404. after all, that's the face people do business with.
and like she's implied to someone else, in a mansion dimensions away, what do the personal opinions of a single doll matter anyway? ]
Coordination and actual cooperation, which is easier said than done, I'm aware. Funny enough, Akira had the right idea back when he pulled all of us together that first week. I won't say that we should make friends with everyone here, but... What we've mostly done so far is coexist, maybe.
[ everyone is more or less passably friendly with each other regardless of the game they came from, maybe, but when it comes down to it they're all still mostly just existing in each others' presences, with varying amounts of wariness of those around them depending on who it is. how closely knit some people are is a double edged sword in a place like this, because, well... ]
If we keep treating things in terms of us and them, and drawing lines in the sand that's how we'll divide ourselves when eventually those preexisting ties get stressed. In which case, we'll be too busy defending ourselves and those we call our own to bother putting those loyalties aside for a moment to look at the bigger picture.
[ pause. ]
I don't necessarily ask objectivity from everyone here, but I would ask that when things inevitably come to a head, people put aside their feelings and desires for short-term self-satisfaction for the sake of accomplishing what they claim they're working for. Whether it's defending their friends from justly deserved accusations or blindly chasing after those who killed without questioning why or making sure they have the right person, that sort of thing is going to get us all killed in the end.
that sort of thing has been killing people. he looks down at the floor, glimpsing his hands while they hang at his sides. as clean as they appear, there's blood on them. ]
I think . . . everyone knows we shouldn't be doing those things, but . . .
[ sometimes they can't help themselves. knowing is different from doing. emotions are difficult like that. he himself was clouded more than usual by his heightened feelings last week, and he can't say that he's proud of the things he did now. ]
Knowing isn't good enough. [ in some ways, it's worse that people are aware. ] Ignorance can be alleviated. Willful disregard or denial, on the other hand.
[ sticking their heads into the sand and hoping a solution presents itself from other parties. ]
Ah, but then again. I am just a doll, after all, and I've been just as complicit as anyone else here.
Perhaps I simply can't grasp the intricacies and depths of human feeling. And what a pity that is.
You wouldn't want to be like a Doll, Zenitsu. Trust me on that.
[
'Cyber network T-Doll, eh? Ironic, isn't it? I do hope she'll survive a bit longer.
You'd still wanna have her die for you if it ever came to that. After all, T-Dolls exist to protect humanity.'
'As T-Dolls, is it our duty to serve humanity?
Is that... the only reason for our existence?' ]
You shouldn't want to be like me, either. I'm cold; I'm cruel; I'm callous; I'm selfish- I've heard it all. And I'll most certainly prioritize the mission in the end, regardless of who else might suffer for it.
[ she arches her own brow in return, but before she can respond, a doll's voice cuts in, audible to them both, sharp and bitter and matter of fact: "We're talking about UMP45, whose personality contains less than 5% kindness. Do you honestly expect her to go 'Let's abandon the mission for the sake of everyone's safety' or something like that?" ... I told you, you can't believe a word she says."
"Are you finally getting rid of us?"
"Have you lost your mind?! You can't be the real one! 45 would never do something like this for us--" ]
[ he squints in visible confusion once the voice fades. after that other memory, it's hard to reconcile 45 in front of him with the picture of 45 painted by the voice's claims.
matter of fact? more like paranoia. 45 definitely has more than 5% kindness. ]
Who was that voice? Why would she say such awful things? I can't believe it!
[ zenitsu you're calling half your positive cr crazy. beau doesn't like her. asch doesn't like her. lili doesn't like her. outside of the ones who actively dislike her, plenty more people don't even know what to make of her. ]
Is it really want, I wonder? It's simply how things are. Maybe I'm just being honest, finally.
But it's not like you have to take my word for it. What do you think, hm?
But, thanks to your memories, I at least know of a few more. You're not the most upfront about your feelings, 45, but I believe that you're kind and compassionate!
[ yeah, she really isn't upfront (or he could just be exercising poor judgment, neither of which would be new.) a nice guy like hunter fell for her, and that's proof enough for him. in no foreseeable future does he suspect that his notions will be shattered. ]
You don't have to pry. I like talking to you. If there's anything you want to know, you can always ask.
You know, you shouldn't want someone like me knowing your secrets. Even if I am curious, that's hardly any reason to have to talk about anything.
[ she'll toe the line, sure, because she needs to Know Things like it's written into her cloud, but 404 respects the golden rule of 'don't ask about each other's pasts,' so. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm asking you.
[ both, one or the other; 45 or UMP45, she's still her. she can answer however she wants. he already knows that if it's a professional judgment, it probably won't sound too good for him. ]
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The group we have here isn't a group I would ever have chosen to put together. But even that theoretical scenario would be better than what our reality is.
[ the whim of
pandoramurdergame slapping people together, period, without even the mission objective stated upfront to gather them that way. ]This isn't an evaluation based on individuals, of course, but as a whole, as a group comprised of everyone here... I wouldn't rate us favorably.
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he appreciates the candid answer. this is a ragtag bunch at best. they're just fortunate to have previous experience and some leaderlike types among them. ]
What can we do to improve that rating?
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and like she's implied to someone else, in a mansion dimensions away, what do the personal opinions of a single doll matter anyway? ]
Coordination and actual cooperation, which is easier said than done, I'm aware. Funny enough, Akira had the right idea back when he pulled all of us together that first week. I won't say that we should make friends with everyone here, but... What we've mostly done so far is coexist, maybe.
[ everyone is more or less passably friendly with each other regardless of the game they came from, maybe, but when it comes down to it they're all still mostly just existing in each others' presences, with varying amounts of wariness of those around them depending on who it is. how closely knit some people are is a double edged sword in a place like this, because, well... ]
If we keep treating things in terms of us and them, and drawing lines in the sand that's how we'll divide ourselves when eventually those preexisting ties get stressed. In which case, we'll be too busy defending ourselves and those we call our own to bother putting those loyalties aside for a moment to look at the bigger picture.
[ pause. ]
I don't necessarily ask objectivity from everyone here, but I would ask that when things inevitably come to a head, people put aside their feelings and desires for short-term self-satisfaction for the sake of accomplishing what they claim they're working for. Whether it's defending their friends from justly deserved accusations or blindly chasing after those who killed without questioning why or making sure they have the right person, that sort of thing is going to get us all killed in the end.
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that sort of thing has been killing people. he looks down at the floor, glimpsing his hands while they hang at his sides. as clean as they appear, there's blood on them. ]
I think . . . everyone knows we shouldn't be doing those things, but . . .
[ sometimes they can't help themselves. knowing is different from doing. emotions are difficult like that. he himself was clouded more than usual by his heightened feelings last week, and he can't say that he's proud of the things he did now. ]
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[ sticking their heads into the sand and hoping a solution presents itself from other parties. ]
Ah, but then again. I am just a doll, after all, and I've been just as complicit as anyone else here.
Perhaps I simply can't grasp the intricacies and depths of human feeling. And what a pity that is.
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It would be nice to be more like you. You're able to get your act together when it counts, no matter what you're feeling.
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You wouldn't want to be like a Doll, Zenitsu. Trust me on that.
[
You'd still wanna have her die for you if it ever came to that. After all, T-Dolls exist to protect humanity.'
Is that... the only reason for our existence?' ]
You shouldn't want to be like me, either. I'm cold; I'm cruel; I'm callous; I'm selfish- I've heard it all. And I'll most certainly prioritize the mission in the end, regardless of who else might suffer for it.
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but he does arch an eyebrow at her rapid-fire claims. ]
No way. I haven't seen you on a mission from your world, but you're not any of those things!
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"Are you finally getting rid of us?"
"Have you lost your mind?! You can't be the real one! 45 would never do something like this for us--" ]
... Well. I was going to say something, but.
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matter of fact? more like paranoia. 45 definitely has more than 5% kindness. ]
Who was that voice? Why would she say such awful things? I can't believe it!
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Haha. She's known me a lot longer than any of you have.
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[ he drags out the last syllable of her name in a pleading tone. ]
Your personality has way more kindness than that!
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After all, aren't there still plenty of people who don't like me here?
[ she can't be that different, compared to back home. ]
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If you really are pretending, you wouldn't be saying that.
Do you want to be seen as unkind that much?
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Is it really want, I wonder? It's simply how things are. Maybe I'm just being honest, finally.
But it's not like you have to take my word for it. What do you think, hm?
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for alleged honesty, that sounds way too roundabout for him. ]
I think . . . you're the kindest doll I know.
[ between the memories, the stories, and the encounters; this is what he believes. ]
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But, thanks to your memories, I at least know of a few more. You're not the most upfront about your feelings, 45, but I believe that you're kind and compassionate!
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Hopefully these fanciful notions aren't shattered too terribly when the time comes.
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You don't have to pry. I like talking to you. If there's anything you want to know, you can always ask.
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[ she'll toe the line, sure, because she needs to Know Things like it's written into her cloud, but 404 respects the golden rule of 'don't ask about each other's pasts,' so. ]
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[ he blinks. ]
There are plenty of other things we can talk about. Now that you've brought it up, though, I'm also curious. What did you want to know?
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[ really, does no one listen to her anymore? she hums mildly, ignoring the storm outside. ]
... Back where you come from. You've talked about your grandfather and brother before, but.
What are the people around you like?
[ reina latched onto her because she didn't have anyone else. that much, at least, is understandable. why is it that zenitsu is doing the same? ]
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well, none of this is a secret, so he sees no harm in sharing. ]
They're people doing their best to get by, just like everyone else. I wasn't exactly close to anyone. Until the mansion, I didn't even have friends.
[ because, really, who'd want to befriend an incompetent crybaby? ]
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