[ zenitsu you're calling half your positive cr crazy. beau doesn't like her. asch doesn't like her. lili doesn't like her. outside of the ones who actively dislike her, plenty more people don't even know what to make of her. ]
Is it really want, I wonder? It's simply how things are. Maybe I'm just being honest, finally.
But it's not like you have to take my word for it. What do you think, hm?
But, thanks to your memories, I at least know of a few more. You're not the most upfront about your feelings, 45, but I believe that you're kind and compassionate!
[ yeah, she really isn't upfront (or he could just be exercising poor judgment, neither of which would be new.) a nice guy like hunter fell for her, and that's proof enough for him. in no foreseeable future does he suspect that his notions will be shattered. ]
You don't have to pry. I like talking to you. If there's anything you want to know, you can always ask.
You know, you shouldn't want someone like me knowing your secrets. Even if I am curious, that's hardly any reason to have to talk about anything.
[ she'll toe the line, sure, because she needs to Know Things like it's written into her cloud, but 404 respects the golden rule of 'don't ask about each other's pasts,' so. ]
[ it's lilting, but there's no particular emotion to be found in the exhalation. it's just a mildly thoughtful noise. ]
And here I thought humans were social creatures. Sounds awfully lonely. I suppose the world hasn't changed much in over a hundred years... well. The people haven't, anyway.
The notion of people simply doing their best to get by, whether it leads them to paying any attention to others or not. I suppose that's really all people ever have done. Look after themselves first, and only look outward if they can afford to, or if it becomes necessary to in order to survive.
[ when self-reliance isn't enough, and only through coming together with what's left of humanity can they weather the collapse.
not that the politics have changed any, or these countries' bitter pride. but then again, what's a doll like her know about the affairs of humans. ]
[ more than she thinks, though he isn't sure that he entirely agrees. certainly, there are people out there who prioritize their own survival and don't care to even lean on others; however, most people aren't so closed off nor stingy in his opinion. ]
Well, most people have their families and friends. I just didn't have anyone like that, growing up.
So long as people can believe in something enough to come into conflict with others for it. So long as there are things they think are worth dying for.
So long as they think that some things are worth the cost to themself and others. Whether those things are friends and family, country and home, or something else entirely... Well.
[ there's no censure in her voice. there's really just a lot of nothing. ]
[ half of those things, and then things he wants to die for—he can't even imagine. he's not extraordinary like those people. he wonders if 45's got something like that going for her. ]
Is something really worth dying for? When you die, that's the end. You'd be leaving that something behind . . .
... That's a bad question to ask a doll. If you asked a doll other than me, they'd probably say dying doesn't really matter for dolls. Normally we can't really die, so long as people care enough to bring us back.
[ people can be so heartless! they should care. there are some truly rotten folks out there; 45 can't even be counted as one of those folks, yet she's great.
she even values the lives of other dolls when they'd dismiss their own! just as he thinks this, a memory of weeks prior rushes back to him and he finds himself seized by dread. ]
What you said at the mansion . . . That wasn't an instance of your dying, was it?
[ is being in a coma the same as death for a doll? ]
No. [ ... but, while it's honesty hour here: ] Not yet. But it might still be.
In any case, just because we can be brought back doesn't mean it's all the same. Not everything always transfers, and we lose our most recent memories, beyond a certain point. It takes something away from you each time. Sometimes the files degrade, corrupt. Each time you come back, you're less and less yourself.
[ idly, as if discussing the weather. ]
And in my particular case were I to ever have died, the hypothetical UMP45 that was retrieved after would never have been me. There'd be no point in her existence.
the idea of having a piece of self chipped away with every death sends a chill down his spine. even for someone like him, who has nothing of value to offer, the thought of permanently losing a part of himself is frightening. it's already jarring, not having his sense of hearing for a second time. belatedly, it occurs to him that he never did ask if those who'd died in the mansion had felt different upon coming back.
everyone here really comes from unique backgrounds. she talks about all of this so casually. ]
That sounds seriously scary . . . How can the other dolls think that doesn't matter?
[ at least 45 seems to value her current existence. that's supposed to be abnormal, apparently. ]
What can I say~ ♪ I'm a pretty abnormal doll. But, you know, it's because that's what we were made for. We were made to protect humans, and die for them when the time comes. Any supposed sense of self we have is because they built us to pretend to have it.
Why would they make their tools to be afraid of dying?
A squad shrouded in mystery. ▓▓▓▓▒ has met them once, and others can only guess at the members' identities from rumors. Members of the squad all have advanced AI and high capacity for independent operation. Rumor has it that Squad 404 usually deals with ░▓▒▓▓▓▒▓▓▒▒▒░░
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no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 08:20 am (UTC)Is it really want, I wonder? It's simply how things are. Maybe I'm just being honest, finally.
But it's not like you have to take my word for it. What do you think, hm?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 10:51 pm (UTC)for alleged honesty, that sounds way too roundabout for him. ]
I think . . . you're the kindest doll I know.
[ between the memories, the stories, and the encounters; this is what he believes. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 11:27 pm (UTC)But, thanks to your memories, I at least know of a few more. You're not the most upfront about your feelings, 45, but I believe that you're kind and compassionate!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 11:52 pm (UTC)Hopefully these fanciful notions aren't shattered too terribly when the time comes.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-23 05:32 am (UTC)You don't have to pry. I like talking to you. If there's anything you want to know, you can always ask.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-23 05:53 am (UTC)[ she'll toe the line, sure, because she needs to Know Things like it's written into her cloud, but 404 respects the golden rule of 'don't ask about each other's pasts,' so. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-23 06:02 am (UTC)[ he blinks. ]
There are plenty of other things we can talk about. Now that you've brought it up, though, I'm also curious. What did you want to know?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-24 02:33 pm (UTC)[ really, does no one listen to her anymore? she hums mildly, ignoring the storm outside. ]
... Back where you come from. You've talked about your grandfather and brother before, but.
What are the people around you like?
[ reina latched onto her because she didn't have anyone else. that much, at least, is understandable. why is it that zenitsu is doing the same? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-24 04:13 pm (UTC)well, none of this is a secret, so he sees no harm in sharing. ]
They're people doing their best to get by, just like everyone else. I wasn't exactly close to anyone. Until the mansion, I didn't even have friends.
[ because, really, who'd want to befriend an incompetent crybaby? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-26 08:50 am (UTC)[ it's lilting, but there's no particular emotion to be found in the exhalation. it's just a mildly thoughtful noise. ]
And here I thought humans were social creatures. Sounds awfully lonely. I suppose the world hasn't changed much in over a hundred years... well. The people haven't, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-26 10:01 pm (UTC)What do you mean?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-31 08:53 am (UTC)[ when self-reliance isn't enough, and only through coming together with what's left of humanity can they weather the collapse.
not that the politics have changed any, or these countries' bitter pride. but then again, what's a doll like her know about the affairs of humans. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-31 04:08 pm (UTC)Well, most people have their families and friends. I just didn't have anyone like that, growing up.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-31 04:59 pm (UTC)And what a pity that is. Then again, people made orphans by the war are hardly rare these days either.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-02 04:00 am (UTC)There's always a war going on, isn't there? Regardless of the country or period.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-02 09:26 pm (UTC)So long as they think that some things are worth the cost to themself and others. Whether those things are friends and family, country and home, or something else entirely... Well.
[ there's no censure in her voice. there's really just a lot of nothing. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-07 04:37 am (UTC)Is something really worth dying for? When you die, that's the end. You'd be leaving that something behind . . .
no subject
Date: 2020-09-07 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-13 02:59 am (UTC)[ he's not sure if that should be a good thing. ]
But dying must still hurt . . .
no subject
Date: 2020-09-13 04:21 am (UTC)[ but she's not going to elaborate on that, considering the fact that they discuss how she was meant to be disposable in a different pc. ]
I suppose I'm rather unusual compared to most dolls, in that regard.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-15 03:02 am (UTC)she even values the lives of other dolls when they'd dismiss their own! just as he thinks this, a memory of weeks prior rushes back to him and he finds himself seized by dread. ]
What you said at the mansion . . . That wasn't an instance of your dying, was it?
[ is being in a coma the same as death for a doll? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-16 08:59 pm (UTC)In any case, just because we can be brought back doesn't mean it's all the same. Not everything always transfers, and we lose our most recent memories, beyond a certain point. It takes something away from you each time. Sometimes the files degrade, corrupt. Each time you come back, you're less and less yourself.
[ idly, as if discussing the weather. ]
And in my particular case were I to ever have died, the hypothetical UMP45 that was retrieved after would never have been me. There'd be no point in her existence.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 01:17 am (UTC)the idea of having a piece of self chipped away with every death sends a chill down his spine. even for someone like him, who has nothing of value to offer, the thought of permanently losing a part of himself is frightening. it's already jarring, not having his sense of hearing for a second time. belatedly, it occurs to him that he never did ask if those who'd died in the mansion had felt different upon coming back.
everyone here really comes from unique backgrounds. she talks about all of this so casually. ]
That sounds seriously scary . . . How can the other dolls think that doesn't matter?
[ at least 45 seems to value her current existence. that's supposed to be abnormal, apparently. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-09-24 02:14 am (UTC)Why would they make their tools to be afraid of dying?
(no subject)
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