holding my pride tight until your tears dry;

[recrypt]

Comments

[recrypt]

... Perhaps it's less that I've traveled far, and more that I've never settled down. Certainly not then, anyway.

There's no true home for me to return to anyway, Zenitsu.

[swordflash]

[ well, that's a depressing thought. ]

There isn't anyone? What about the other dolls?

[recrypt]

What about them? Just because they're other dolls doesn't mean I have anything to do with them. On the contrary- as far as the records show, I don't exist.

[swordflash]

What do you mean?

[recrypt]

As far as anyone is concerned, I should have died to years ago in the incident that killed everyone else I knew at the time. They called it an accident.

I know better.

[swordflash]

[ they must probably be humans.

as simple as she puts it, zenitsu is outraged enough even under current circumstances to start rising from his seat. ]

They tried to get rid of you? That's horrible!

[recrypt]

Well, I was made to be disposable. I can't say the same thing for many of the others who were there, especially the humans.

[ so it's a bit of a cosmic joke how she's the one who survived. ]

[swordflash]

[ everywhere, there is loss. he watches her for a beat before sitting back down. ]

Then whoever they are just didn't care? That makes it even worse.

[recrypt]

Oh, they definitely cared enough to try to make sure everyone there died. That way, the knowledge of what they'd done would never get out.

[ dead men tell no tales... ]

[swordflash]

Doesn't that mean you're in danger? Is that why you're in a coma back there?

But if you don't exist . . .

[ how did they find her? and who were all those dolls in her memory? ]

[recrypt]

Of course I am. But what was I supposed to do? Run?

[ run, and for what? self-preservation, at the cost of... what? ]

If I want answers, I'm going to have to put myself at risk at some point. And just because they can't trace or track me doesn't mean I can't physically be affected in combat.

[swordflash]

[ she'd go back to that chaos for something like that. if he were her, he would've ran and never looked back. ]

You're . . . unbelievably brave.

[recrypt]

Brave? ... No, I don't think so.

I just won't accept the idea of giving up. Or I can't, rather.

[swordflash]

[ the things she says ring so true. jigoro would've loved to know her, he thinks. ]

I hope you find it—the answer.

[recrypt]

Haha. Well.

I'll do it or die trying, at least.

[swordflash]

[ do or die—that's true, particularly in a place like this. there's nothing he can say to that, so he falls silent, watching her build the snowman instead. he can't help feeling worried about tomorrow, but seeing her like this eases his nerves just a bit for now. ]