recrypt | holding my pride tight until your tears dry;

recrypt

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

recrypt

Hm. What does not overdoing it look like?

[ one burst of speed, two, three? a few seconds of sustained activity? ]

From:

swordflash

[ humming shortly in thought, he looks up and down to appraise the length of the stable's walkway. he points past 45 toward the entrance. ]

If I were to use the first form in here, I'd be able to reach the other side of the stable in a single step.

From:

recrypt

Is that so...

[ impressive even by doll standards. at least, it takes a higher performance body than the average to manage that. ]

Haha. If humans really had managed to figure out how to push their bodies to such limits, you'd almost think we might be unnecessary.

[ but only almost, because there are so many reasons for dolls to exist. ]

From:

swordflash

Is that right?

[ he lowers his hand. ]

I wonder if that's true. Even with these enhancements, there's still a lot that we can't do on our own . . .

[ 45 can never be unnecessary, whether as a weapon or otherwise, in his eyes. ]

From:

recrypt

...of course there is. But that's why you surround yourself with other people who can pick up the things you can't.

[ take it from a doll who's very, very aware of her own limits. ]

From:

swordflash

Did you have people like that around you? Or are they dolls . . .

[ she seemed to be alone in the memory. but if she's saying that, it can't be just reina. ]

From:

recrypt

... No. I don't.

[ do as she says, not as she does. though the tense is deliberate. ]

It's just me. The dolls around me for now ... we're just together because we're headed toward the same destination, that's all.

From:

swordflash

That doesn't sound so bad.

[ that's better than being totally alone, right? ]

Then it's similar to this place.

[ now, that sounds pretty bad. ]

From:

recrypt

The difference is that there, the circle of people I associated with was curated, for better or for worse.

[ this is... hm.

it's a ticking time bomb is what it is. ]

From:

swordflash

[ it sure is. ]

What about here?

[ does she consider this circle better or worse? ]

From:

recrypt

[ she's quiet for a moment, giving him a long, measured look. ]

Speaking as an individual, it isn't as if I can really judge anyone here. I'm just one doll, after all.

[ and dolls are meant to serve. they might be allowed to advise, they might be allowed to offer input, but it's not their place to really have opinions about things.

or at least, not their place to openly voice them in any meaningful way, anyway. not for most of them. ]

But are you asking 45, the doll you all keep insisting to be kinder than many believe, or are you asking UMP45, leader of squad 404?

[ does he really want her professional judgment on this. ]

From:

swordflash

[ there's something measured about that look and those words, but he doesn't shrink back. he did say that he trusts her at the beginning. ]

I'm asking you.

[ both, one or the other; 45 or UMP45, she's still her. she can answer however she wants. he already knows that if it's a professional judgment, it probably won't sound too good for him. ]

From:

recrypt

If you're asking me as a commander in the field, judging all of us as... not necessarily allies, but would-be collaborators working towards the same goal?

The group we have here isn't a group I would ever have chosen to put together. But even that theoretical scenario would be better than what our reality is.

[ the whim of ~~pandora~~ murdergame slapping people together, period, without even the mission objective stated upfront to gather them that way. ]

This isn't an evaluation based on individuals, of course, but as a whole, as a group comprised of everyone here... I wouldn't rate us favorably.

From:

swordflash

[ that wasn't exactly what he asked of her, and that she would default to her commander persona says a lot.

he appreciates the candid answer. this is a ragtag bunch at best. they're just fortunate to have previous experience and some leaderlike types among them. ]

What can we do to improve that rating?

From:

recrypt

[ people don't ask for 45, the person. in fact, most people aren't really aware she exists? so of course her default is ump45, leader of 404. after all, that's the face people do business with.

and like she's implied to someone else, in a mansion dimensions away, what do the personal opinions of a single doll matter anyway? ]

Coordination and actual cooperation, which is easier said than done, I'm aware. Funny enough, Akira had the right idea back when he pulled all of us together that first week. I won't say that we should make friends with everyone here, but... What we've mostly done so far is coexist, maybe.

[ everyone is more or less passably friendly with each other regardless of the game they came from, maybe, but when it comes down to it they're all still mostly just existing in each others' presences, with varying amounts of wariness of those around them depending on who it is. how closely knit some people are is a double edged sword in a place like this, because, well... ]

If we keep treating things in terms of us and them, and drawing lines in the sand that's how we'll divide ourselves when eventually those preexisting ties get stressed. In which case, we'll be too busy defending ourselves and those we call our own to bother putting those loyalties aside for a moment to look at the bigger picture.

[ pause. ]

I don't necessarily ask objectivity from everyone here, but I would ask that when things inevitably come to a head, people put aside their feelings and desires for short-term self-satisfaction for the sake of accomplishing what they claim they're working for. Whether it's defending their friends from justly deserved accusations or blindly chasing after those who killed without questioning why or making sure they have the right person, that sort of thing is going to get us all killed in the end.

From:

swordflash

[ he swallows down something like consternation.

that sort of thing has been killing people. he looks down at the floor, glimpsing his hands while they hang at his sides. as clean as they appear, there's blood on them. ]

I think . . . everyone knows we shouldn't be doing those things, but . . .

[ sometimes they can't help themselves. knowing is different from doing. emotions are difficult like that. he himself was clouded more than usual by his heightened feelings last week, and he can't say that he's proud of the things he did now. ]

From:

recrypt

Knowing isn't good enough. [ in some ways, it's worse that people are aware. ] Ignorance can be alleviated. Willful disregard or denial, on the other hand.

[ sticking their heads into the sand and hoping a solution presents itself from other parties. ]

Ah, but then again. I am just a doll, after all, and I've been just as complicit as anyone else here.

Perhaps I simply can't grasp the intricacies and depths of human feeling. And what a pity that is.

From:

swordflash

[ he chooses not to answer right away, but to think on 45's claims for a short moment. he can only speak for himself. ]

It would be nice to be more like you. You're able to get your act together when it counts, no matter what you're feeling.

From:

recrypt

Hahaha.

You wouldn't want to be like a Doll, Zenitsu. Trust me on that.

[

'Cyber network T-Doll, eh? Ironic, isn't it? I do hope she'll survive a bit longer.

You'd still wanna have her die for you if it ever came to that. After all, T-Dolls exist to protect humanity.'

'As T-Dolls, is it our duty to serve humanity?

Is that... the only reason for our existence?' ]

You shouldn't want to be like me, either. I'm cold; I'm cruel; I'm callous; I'm selfish- I've heard it all. And I'll most certainly prioritize the mission in the end, regardless of who else might suffer for it.

From:

swordflash

[ he sure doesn't want to be a gun, thanks—no offense to her. knowing him, he'd be the gun that jams all the time.

but he does arch an eyebrow at her rapid-fire claims. ]

No way. I haven't seen you on a mission from your world, but you're not any of those things!

From:

recrypt

[ she arches her own brow in return, but before she can respond, a doll's voice cuts in, audible to them both, sharp and bitter and matter of fact: "We're talking about UMP45, whose personality contains less than 5% kindness. Do you honestly expect her to go 'Let's abandon the mission for the sake of everyone's safety' or something like that?" ... I told you, you can't believe a word she says."

"Are you finally getting rid of us?"

"Have you lost your mind?! You can't be the real one! 45 would never do something like this for us--" ]

... Well. I was going to say something, but.

From:

swordflash

[ he squints in visible confusion once the voice fades. after that other memory, it's hard to reconcile 45 in front of him with the picture of 45 painted by the voice's claims.

matter of fact? more like paranoia. 45 definitely has more than 5% kindness. ]

Who was that voice? Why would she say such awful things? I can't believe it!

From:

recrypt

Her?

Haha. She's known me a lot longer than any of you have.

From:

swordflash

Does that mean you agree with everything she said? 45 . . . !

[ he drags out the last syllable of her name in a pleading tone. ]

Your personality has way more kindness than that!

From:

recrypt

Does it? You barely know me. For all you know, I've been pretending this whole time.

After all, aren't there still plenty of people who don't like me here?

[ she can't be that different, compared to back home. ]

those who don't exist.

holding my pride tight until your tears dry;

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